He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
