I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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