To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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