and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
