You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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