just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
