Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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