After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Randomize
