he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize