I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
