remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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