I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
