Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
