Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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