maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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