closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
false alarm, still single
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
