For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
