I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
