He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Bring me that man meat
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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