Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
So vagazzling was a success
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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