Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
