Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
