I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
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I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
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Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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