i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
