I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
