He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
