It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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