yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
