Got a toothbrush?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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