i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
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my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
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It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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