OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
