im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
