i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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