Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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