Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
