I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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