Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
