i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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