i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
