This girl is more easily done than said...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
