At least make sure they are 18
Why
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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