i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
