Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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