on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
