Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
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It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
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When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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