so explain again why im purple
no
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
