Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
