my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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