Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize