So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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