I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
