Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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