on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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