He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
