i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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