remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
her facebook's as public as her vagina
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Are we still banned from the library?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
