my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
