i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
is it fun? or sober?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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