Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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