First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I need to stop coming to work sober
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
