..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
