Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
